Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so let's talk penis.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
