you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
