Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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