My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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