Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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