My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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