I got chris browned last night
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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