guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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