you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
everyone is single if you try hard enough
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
