so explain again why im purple
no
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
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Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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