My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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