He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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