So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
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so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We have so much sex to catch up on
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He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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