Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
