Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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