I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
