I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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