I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
