return my video game
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
