You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
