Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
