Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
