she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He shit in the fireplace
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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