I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
