weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
