it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
