Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands were made for my vagina.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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