Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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