meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Life is so much better after having sex.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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