You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
