Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
