yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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