I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
