scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
