cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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