watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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