Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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