So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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