she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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