He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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