um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
