do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
