Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize