$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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