I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
