what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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