AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
