dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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