forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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