somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
