he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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