You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
