how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
