You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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