that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
