yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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