he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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