these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
