I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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