last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
