She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
