Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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